I Über love the line-up for tomorrow. Praise and Worship is gonna rock. Plus, True Love Waits... RAWR.

Andami kong appointments! nyahaha. I agreed to go with Justin sa North to buy his gift for Lyra, I asked Ate Beth to come watch Close to You with me, pero I agreed to go with Tita and Mami Padua to watch a movie, tapos I also agreed to attend TLW. HAAYYY. SAAN AKO PUPUNTA?

I got my gown yesterday! haha. Complete na... pero ala pang accesories. Yun... I'm still thinking of how I would do my hair and make-up. So yun... 5 days na lang!!!


my gown, clutch, and shoes.

ahlavett.

nagfi-feeling model. haha.

Our school is so stupid. It was already declared that school was cancelled, but still the stupid directress make us take our exams. Can't she fricken move this shit on Monday instead? Shit. First, she made us choose if we would take the exam today or tomorrow. How stupid can you get? Really now. RAWR.

Badtrip talaga tong day na to. Instead of catching up with my sleep, I was sitting in the damn classroom taking TLE and Trigo. SHHEETT. Combination pa ng mga subject na sobrang hate ko. Tapos yung MAPEH, iminove sa Wednesday. Grreeaattt.

The rest is history. Sobrang bad trip ngayon grabe. GGAAHHH.

kath. mar. in giftgate.
lovebirds. hangkyut :)
bevs. mar. rose-ma. kath.
oohhh. fascinating. haha.
my pink zagu.
the zagu princess. nyahaha.
kath. bevs. mar.
kath. mar. rose-ma. bevs.
last pic. =)

picture post.

astig kid to pre. kumekembot pa yan. XDD
kath. tosh. mar.
camwhores.
our table. haha.
mar. justin. jp.
mar. justin. jerome. jp. tosh. kath.
ulet.
na-cut si kath. haha.
hahahaha. kakatawa si jerome.
talaga naman.
mick foley!
his autograph.
with "trish".
with "edge".
tosh. mar.
last pic.

LJ is pissing me off.

I don't understand why when I go on my friends' friend pages, I can't see my entries. Then, when I go on MY friends page, it's there. RAWR. I already made my FO entry backdated, so I don't know what else I should do. GAAHHH. Spare me the pain and tell me what to do. I'll love you forever ♥.

Anyway, we had our Centralized Exam today. Chemistry, Filipino, and Social Studies. During Chemistry, we were all pumped up and everything. LOL. Jeremy was fully asking Mrs. Austria questions and ish. Ang galing talaga mangalakal ni Jere. Haha. Basta, I know I didn't fail. At least I hope I didn't. Haha. It's easy naman kasi... kaya... hopefully. :)

By the time we were doing Social, we were already restless. Honestly, I didn't try answering it. Haha. Anjan naman si Guinina and Jeremy + other sources. (Naknampuch, nakuha pang maging honest eh nag-cheat naman pala! NYAHAHAHA) YO. It's not called cheating... it's called... asking for help. Haha. We weren't really cheating naman talaga kasi we were allowed, so there.

They had cotillion practice after, so it was only Bevs, Rose-Ma and I. We went to Anson first. Tsk tsk, I feel so sorry for some people talaga. Kawawa naman sila... nang-gagalaiti na sa sobrang inggit. Tss... di uubra sakin yang mga paganyan ganyan niyo. Get a life. Jeez. Stop thinking so damn highly of yourselves. Hindi bagay. Itsura niyo huh. Naknamputch... tupperware na tupperware ampo. Kawawa naman kayo.

So we went to Rob. Walked around, checked out Prom Dresses. Haha... hapit din. Excited na ko. LOL. La lang... I just want to see everyone all dressed up and everything during the night. Haha. And spotlights on the ground! Nyahaha. Wickedness. AHLAVET. Haha... on the way to Sta. Lucia, this street kid said to us... "Ang ganda niyo lahat." Haha. Kids don't lie. LOL. Kaazar, he's stating the obvious. HANEP. Ang kapal ng muks mo neng. HAHAHAHA.


on the escalator in rob.

haha. big&small co. *plug yan*

ah. what a hunk.

tss. memories of Derek daw sabi ni Rose-Ma. NYAHAHAHA.

bang bang.

aww. dingdong dantes ♥ i did NOT actually kiss that thing.

broadway gems. cuteness ♥

last pic.

I'm picking up my prom dress this friday. :)

Possibly more than anything else, longing for romance can make us lose sight of opportunities at the roadside. Because the idea of having a significant other is so exciting to us, it's easy to let romance be the only thing we look for in life.

We rush to our mural, keeping at least one eye fixed on the top corner, waiting for our white spaces to be filled up. After a time, if nothing appears there, we walk right up to the mural, tapping our feet and clearing our throats. Hoping to make the Artist change the order of His design. Hoping that He will come and fill the white space. But when we step back and begin to see the big picture, everything changes. We start to see color in other areas. As we become less focused on romance, we are able to watch as God fills different places of our lives. And we find that, as one book says, "there is more God has for us during a season of singless than just learning the art of misery and impatience."

Do you ever find yourself disagreeing with such a statement? Do you ever find yourself staring at a big, glaring white space? Do you find it hard to see beauty in your own life? Do you ever get the feeling that there might be something that you're missing? If so, will you take a few steps back with me?

Will you?

Come on. God is still painting, and He's working on a masterpiece.
--- Saving My First Kiss by Lisa Velthouse

Yesterday night, I decided to clean my room. Then, I see this book. I read the title and remembered just shoving it in the shelf after I looked at the cover. Saving My First Kiss (why I'm keeping confetti in my closet) by Lisa Velthouse. I read the back, and it seemed interesting to me, especially since I'm in this emo mode again about letting go, getting over him, and wondering why I don't have a boyfriend yet. Don't get me wrong, I love being single... it's just... I miss having someone there. Getting mushy text messages, hugs, flowers... you know.

Yes. I do not need a boyfriend now, and I will wait until God paints that empty space in my mural.

I will have to keep that in mind from now on.




Prom in 10 days. HURRAH.

Our variety show went okay I guess. Haha... when I was emcee-ing, talagang mejo kabado kaya nabubulol ako. LOL. Pero it was fine. Gosh, the Bebeca thingy is so LONG. Rawr. No hot guys. =( And I thought even a single dancer from RC Cainta's male dance club would be in it. haha. I guess I was wrong.

Astig talaga MAKILING! HUWAW. LOL. For Gymnastics, Bevs, Maricar, Guinina and Aiko wore our costume for cheering... hehe. Suddenly I wanted to wear mine too. Haha. Astig kasi talaga... just look for the pic down there. Haha. Anyway, what was embarassing was when we were supposed to enter for modern, hindi marinig yung music kaya we didn't get to do our tricks and the Sunshine part. SAYANG. Oh well, okay naman siya eh. Basta... sayang talaga yung tricks namin. Putaness kasing sound system yan. Talagang makaluma.

Jerome! LOL. His performance was crazy! Ang kulet talaga. Haha. Totoy Bibbo. Pumasok pa si Edisan. LOL. Otso-otso ampo. HAHAHAHA. Gago.

Kainis pa, we had to attend classes still. We weren't even allowed to go out. There shouldn't even be school today. Kabanas talaga. Oh well, at least... andami ko nanaman plus sa MAPEH. HAHAHA.


last minute preparations.

doing my script. haha.

lets go CHAMPIONS! danda costume namin no?

mar. aiko. my goodies.

astehg no? rose-ma. aiko. mar.

aiko. mar. justin.

justin. aiko. mar.

boypren namin ni aiko. haha.

ssshhh.

haha hangkyut ni justin.

more here

Had another dry run today. Pretty okay I guess... I just hope it goes well tomorrow.


lasang lumot. ick.

mar. aiko. (candid yan. haha.)

mar. aiko. bevs. rose-ma.

sad.

ngiii.

our faces during...

filipino

social

tle

trigo

chemistry

lunch break

english

geometry

dismissal

anson


last pic.

check HERE for the rest.

Our dry run sucked. No one was prepared, the tapes weren't finished, it's just plain blah. RAWR. I swear... kinakabahan ako for this.

Tapos, di pa kami na-excuse in any subject. Except for MAPEH xempre... gusto ko pa naman mag practicum. Saya kaya... volleyball. Tss... hangkulet ko nga eh. Nung boys yung naglalaro, I said "SUB, SUB!" Natatalo na kasi sila Nae eh... haha.

Hmpth. Chung ina talaga nito ni Sugpo I HATE HER.


kath. mar. rose-ma.

my fave shoes. haha.

endorser ng converse.

mga tambay sa kanto. haha. (gene, jorge, jugueta)

Valentine's Day doesn't really suck after all. :)


I feel so loved. :) Thanks to everyone who greeted personally, by text, by letter, by notes, online, etc. haha. Basta... you guys made this day great... :D

view from Rose-Ma's place.

my bitemark on magic flakes. haha.

molarity?

"ayoko magpicture!" haha.

ballet yan. haha.

soulnames.

exercise daw.

view from Bevs' place.

see the mountains?

I guess things will get better this year :).

Oh joy. It's freaking Valentine's day tomorrow.

What's the hype? I mean, everyone's talking about it. It's so... un-important. Haha. Don't they know that most people are not coupled up yet? Jeez. Give me a break. =
But then, when I think about it... I miss last year's Valentine's Day. People gave me gifts... flowers... etc... RAWR. That's when I liked him and he kinda liked me. But now he's heartbroken... so... wala. Si CHINObaybeeeh and si PAObear lang. HAHAHA XPP.

Kainis si Kuya Cheeno.

TOP 12 ako in class. HAHAHAH. ASTEHG yan.

Sorry. Mejo BANGAG. Pagpasensyahan.

Report Cards today! :)

I'm so happy. Furreal. Haha. Lahat ng grades ko tumaas except for MAPEH and Trigo. Bumaba yung dalawang yun eh :(. Sa MAPEH, I think it's because of the days that I was absent... eh andami kaya nun! Tapos sa Trigo... I unno. I never understand anything in that damn subject anyway, so I don't really care. Basta... thankful ako. Sa Filipino nga, 10 points yung itinaas ko! GALING!!! eh I really hate that subject pa naman... kaya... ang saya :).

Nakakainis lang is, when you're so proud of yourself, then someone else puts you down. Grabe talaga. Nakakainis si Lola kanina. I was telling everyone in the house I improved, tapos Lola said, "Masaya ka na dyan? You should've done better! Kami nga puro honors... blah blah blah." Shit man. Give me a damn break. Buti nga I pushed myself this time. How many teachers have told me to stop being a lazy ass and work cause they know I can do better? They always tell me... "Sayang ka talaga Ballesteros, kung di ka tatamad-tamad, siguro nasa top ka rin ngayon." RAWR. I know I'm lazy. You don't have to rub it in. GOSH. And I don't wanna be in the top 10 anyway. It's like when you're in the top 10, they expect too much from you. You can't slack off. You have to keep the title. Eh ako, pag tinamad na ko, ayoko na talaga. HAAYYY. I try to stop myself from procrastinating, but I can't help it. I guess I was just born with a bad case of laziness in me =\.

Nakakainis talaga si Bangkay! RAWR. That stupid teacher. Kainis talaga. Siya lang line of 7 ko! 79. Hindi pa isinampa sa 80 eh. Shit. Sayang talaga. Kung 80 yun... nako... nasa top na ko. HAHAHAHA =). Kainis oohhh. Badtrip. Close pa naman kami nun, di man lang niya isinampa ng konti. LOL. Pero tumaas naman eh... kasi 2nd grading alam ko 77 ako. Haha... fuck this programming shit. I hate it. Sinisira ang aking line of 8 and two 9s. RAWR.

I didn't get to practice in church nanaman =\ I guess I can't back-up tomorrow... kabanas. After church I'm going to Bevs'... ala lang. Makiki-epal lang sa prac nila for their routine. Baka bumili na rin ako ng black shirt para sa costume namin... ayos. Kelan ako gagawa ng Social? GGAAHHH. I can't understand that stupid assignment.


o davah? i was with sam milby today. haha. deh, sa hi-top lang yan. XPP

HAPPY 18th JOANNE PECSON!!!

Camwhored. Ang saya. Haha.

kaya mo yan? mar, bevs; aiko, mar rose-ma, bevs; mar, bevs
kami ulet. sporting our "brand new" uniforms XPP
o davah. pam PE daw yun orange. haha.
parang mga tulog lang. haha.
cute ko no? joke.
astig daw; cutie jeff
"models" haha; tosh, mar, jes, rose-ma
endorsers ng mcdonalds. haha.
amPAO. XPP

more here

THE WAR OFFICIALLY STARTS NOW.


Dear Bitch;

First of all, a BIG HUGE FUCK YOU to your fucked up face.

What is your PROBLEM? You're so fucked up in the head you know that? Shit. I want to clear things up. Noon pa lang, nag-iinit na dugo ko sayo. Yes, I admit, we were friends, but I stopped considering you as one of my friends long before this damn issue broke out. Yes, I talk to you. Yes, I chill with you, but I suddenly stopped, without you even knowing the reason. It's because of YOU. Keep that in your head. I don't like being around people like you. People who think so damn highly of themselves. People who can't think of anything to talk about but themselves. People who backstabs their own bestfriend. People like YOU.

You're still like that. You've never changed. Ang kapal talaga ng mukha mo. The biggest thing that pissed me off was the talking behind Jes part. To think YOU start the damn topic. Gosh, no words can explain how much I loathe you. So, what is this all about? Is it because you weren't included in the damn dance? FINE. I'll gladly give you my spot just to make you happy. Shit. What's the big deal about this stupid dance? Will you die if you won't be in it? Gosh woman. Wake the fuck up. I already have a spot in the damn program. I didn't force myself to be in the damn dance. Shit. Get over yourself. SINO KA BA?

Ano, wala ka ng kaibigan ngayon? Sinong may kasalanan? It's not my fault everyone doesn't like you. It's not my fault no one likes to be around you. Baguhin mo kasi yang ugali mo. You shouldn'tve shown us your real color. OK ka na sana eh, pero you stuck with your title. Tama naman eh. That name fits you so right.

Ako? Plastic? Well it takes one to know one, bitch. Don't know what it means? Well then too bad. I'm pretty sure your small brain won't get to process that kind of information. Let me tell you this. Lahat tayo, plastic. If no one's plastic in this world, then alot of people like you won't have friends at all. Alam mo kung bakit? Walang makakatagal sa ugali mo. Tang ina mo, pa-epal ka. Ok, plastic ako, pero kelan kita pinlastic? Nung humiwalay ako sa inyo, diba hindi kita pinapansin? Everytime you talk, don't I look somewhere else? Yeah, those smiles I give to you are genuine. There are times that I actually forget I'm mad at you, but then it comes back. Have you ever noticed no one ever tells you to come with us? You just assume we want you to come. Yan ang hirap sayo eh, magsasalita ka di mo naman pala alam. Isipin mo muna kung totoo yang lumalabas sa bibig mo, gago. IKAW ANG PLASTIC. Sino kasama mo ngayon? Mga tao na NILALAIT MO. Mga tao na KINAIINISAN MO. Kathlyn? WTF? Since when have you guys been best friends? Tang ina, ikaw na nagsabi, ginagamit mo lang siya. Diba gusto mo na siyang patayin dahil kay JORGE? Eh tang ina mo pala eh, sino kasama mo ngayon? Diba, siya? SHEETT. PLASTIC AKO? SINO KAYA SATING DALAWA?

TANG INA MO. MAGHARAP NA LANG TAYO. HINDI YUNG PINAPASABI MO PA SA IBA. If you had the guts to confront Rose-Ma about things, then you should have the guts to confront ME. Tang ina mo, if you're so proud you made other people cry, then ibahin mo ko neng. Hindi mo ko mapapaiyak sa katarayan mo. Lalong hindi mo ko mapapaiyak dahil nag-away tayo. AT MAS LALONG hindi mo ko mapapaiyak dahil hindi na kita kaibigan. TANG INA MATUTUWA PA KO. IBAHIN MO KO SA MGA TAONG SINASAKUPAN MO, GAGO. Ako, alam kong lumaban. Hindi ako sunud-sunuran sa mga taong tulad mo na FEELING SENYORITA. FEELING MAGANDA. Diba, UMIYAK KA KANINA?

TANG INA MO. SA SUSUNOD, KUNG MAY GUSTO KANG SABIHIN, SAKIN MO SABIHIN, HINDI SA IBANG TAO PARA MAGKALIWANAGAN NA. Tang ina naiinis na ko sa mukha mo. Lalo na sa nguso mo gago. Ipasok mo yan. Ang sagwa.


OH GAWD. That felt good. Sorry. I'm just so fricken pissed right now. ARRGGHHH. I need to cool down.

HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY CYRUS ONIA!

Pictures.


before.

after. *we left sucha clean plate eh? XP*

lol. spot kathrine laughing.

would you believe this is a drinking glass?

feardotcom



natuwa sa aquarium.

I'm sorry, I don't have time to blog. Let the pictures do the talking.

This isn't goodbye... even if I watch you leave, this isn't goodbye...

It seems like just yesterday when I had that line on my MSN, AA, LJ, and every online thing I belong in. That was when I was about to leave Canada. I'm playing that song right now... and for some reason, it hurts.

Anyway, I've always loved Sundays. XDD I don't know. Church was okay... things are different now. Okay na yung mga tao. They were my problem before anyway. I thought they were all stuck-up, pero I proved myself wrong. Pero may iba pa ring exceptions...

Fellowship was fun. Haha. Kaazar na si Jessica huh. LOL. I think siya magtuturo kay Crush ng Chap 2... eh tungkol pa naman sa love yun. RAWR. In fairness, kinilig talaga ako kanina when we were singing the closing song. Si Jessica kasi... haha. I didn't see Crush when we came in from the park, tapos tinuro niya! eh pagtingin ko pa naman ang cute niya... nyahahahaha. Hanep. Natatawag na palang cute si Crush ngayon? Dati mabait lang. Haha.

Anu pa? While we were eating, he asked me where AJ was (kasi lagi kami nag-aaway nun.) so I said "I don't know... I hope he doesn't come back." then he laughed. Basta yun... usap usap. Then when we were starting the lesson, Ate Hazel asked us if we had pens with us, pero si Angelo lang meron, so he gave them to Ez and Crush, tapos I was like... "wala na?" then Crush handed his pen to me =D. Haha. Ala lang. Nung uwian na, they crossed the street pa talaga to ask me if I was going home. Basta... saya.

Our practice was so fun. Haha. Exclude the fact that that stupid Ann was here. Shit. She makes me sick. Trying hard talaga. Give me a damn break. Sabi pa siya ng sabi... "gustong gusto talaga ni ___ sumali eh..." fuck you. Di kayong dalawa mag-sayaw mag-isa niyo. SHET. Sunud-sunuran ka lang talaga gago. Walang originality. You make me sick.

Anyway, when I got home, andito na sila sa bahay. I noticed Jesereth's cousin... haha. Ala lang. Ma-appeal. Eon... he taught us the dance. We're dancing Goodies pala... pero he's gonna add other songs to it. Sana matagal pa bago matapos. HAHAHA. Basta... ma-appeal lang talaga sya. Okay din siya kasama. Haha. Ang hyper ko kasi kanina sa Sta. Lu. Ewan ko... nag katol kasi ako eh. haha. Ala na rugby. Joke. Lakas trip. Tapos nung uwian na, sabi niya pa talaga "ingat ka ha..." haha. Halatang concerned? JOKE. Yack. Sige na... iba na lang.

Ang saya talaga mang-asar ng tao.

[edit]: Altogether now!

(to the tune of WOWOWEE theme song)

WOWOWEE nasawi ang marami
dahil sa show na to lahat ay nagsisisi
WOWOWEE sira na si Willie
dahil nagkagulo sa WOWOWWEE


Nathan forwarded me that message. Siraulo talaga yun. I feel so sorry for the people who died.

R.I.P. ♥[/edit]

Ang kulet ampo. Haha. Buti pa si CHINObehybeeeh nag tag... *ahem*pao*ahem*. Hehe.

Sa totoo lang, parang ang hirap paniwalaan ng nangyayari ngayon. I swear. It's so sudden, nagdududa na ko. She's scared of her, so why does she suddenly have the guts to hate her? It's confusing =\.

Hahahaha. Kasali na ko sa program. I meant, I'm gonna dance innit. Wickedness. Haha. Mrs. Flores loves me. So I'm gonna be emcee-ing and dancing =) WOOOTTT. Buti nga sayo ina mo. Yabang mo kasi.

Report cards soon! SHET. I think I improved? I hope I did. RAWR. I swear Mrs. Ortiz is giving me such low marks =(. I'm trying my best man. Jeez.

Pictures.
















no comment na lang lahat. haha. XPP


what a lie.


it says kathrine ♥ fernan. uuuyyy.

Yun lang.

Garage Sale tomorrow. Punta kayo huh? hehe. We're gonna practice our dance on Sunday. After the service. Ah shit. We have a fellowship nga pala!!! Hmm... pano to?

Bawat bagay, mahalaga. Di mo lang nakikita kasi di pa nawawala. Bawat tao, may importansya. Di mo napapansin kasi andyan lang siya. Pero pag nawala na, hinahanap mo na. Tsaka ka lang manghihinayang kapag wala na siya.

Dahil tumaas ang grades ko sa Filipino, (ang subject na sobrang kinaiinisan ko) I'm gonna try to write in Filipino more. <-- Hanep. Sira kaagad ang plano. Haha. Well, what I meant to say type is that I'm gonna try to write more Filipino if I can. Kainis kasi... it's soooo hard to write in Tagalog formally. =\ I can't even write a nice composition for gosh's sake. Dah well.

Valentine's Day is coming man. I don't even know why they're making such a big deal about this. Hay. Nakakamiss tuloy... :( last year, nag-sorry siya cause he didn't get to give me something, pero I didn't really expect anything, so just the fact that he told me that he "thought" of giving me something made me smile.

Tapos, he took me out pa, pero that time wala pang malisya. I don't think he liked me then. But whatever... again, I'm not expecting anyone to give me something... just him I guess. =\ Oh well. I won't expect anything for him either, para if ever I don't really get anything, it won't be too hard to accept. Haha. Kainis kasi eh... everytime I go to malls and stuff, all I see is red. Literally. Alot of people are wearing red these days, add the roses and teddy bears with hearts and everything. RAWR. Stupid hype Valentine is bringing.

Today was the complete opposite of yesterday. I was feeling low and un-appreciated, pero sobrang iba today. I'm noticing the changes I've been making too. A while ago, in Anson, that stupid word that started a conflict between me and Tosh came out of my mouth again, but this time, I thought about it, then dinugtungan ko na lang para masalo. I'm so scared to make the same mistake again.

Nakakainis na talaga si Anne Curtina today huh. Nag-iinit na talaga ako sa kanya. I swear, from the things that Tosh told us today, it made me get mad at her more. Kanina pa. Kanina pa talaga. Tangna... and landi ng puta. Meron pang nalalaman na ganon. Utot mo! Di ka na gaganda gago. Ganyan na mukha mo forever. Shet. Nakakairita talaga siya. Akala mo naman magseselos siya, di aman. Feeling ka masyado eh. Tumigil-tigil ka na. Lahat kami galit sayo. Please refer to the song silvertoes by PNE(oh ano, di mo alam ibig sabihin? Sorry. Pang-sosyal lang yan. Di bagay sa mga jologs na katulad mo. Lam ko naman makikiride ka lang eh. Yan lang naman alam mo. MAKIRIDE. Kahit di mo alam oo ka lang tapos magyayabang ka pa. Naknamputch. Di mo nga alam may kiber ka pang magyabang. Jeez. Give us a damn break). Bagay sayo yan.

Ano pa ba? We're dancing Average Joe in the Recognition Program. We have practice tomorrow -__-" GAHD. Walang kamatayang practice nanaman to. Then, the Variety Show is coming up too. RAWR. Sana i-excuse kami ni Mam Flores sa mga classes =). NYAHAHHAA. WWIIICCKKEEED.

walang magawa. haha... kanina lang yan :)

sige sige... sohreh na. cute kasi nung glass eh XPP

Oh siya. Matutulog na ko. I need to catch up on sleep. I look like a fricken panda now for having such huge eyebags. Haha. -__-"

Goodnight. ♥

postscript: nagpapabati nga pala ang mga boyprens ko. CHINOBEHYBEEEH! & PAOBEAR! :) hahaha. binabati ko kayo =) haha. ULUL. hahaha. kulit niyo mga lechugas kayo! (ka 3-way ko sila ngayon) oh. leave a comment on my tag-board if you see this aayytt?? pag hindi... nako... lagot kayo sakin. haha. ♥

Anyway, enough of the emo shit. Nakakapanibago. Haha.

These people from A' Prime came over to encourage us to enroll in their Review Center. I was actually planning to enroll in Ahead or MSA, but it's cheaper in prime. Aiko, Kath, and Rose-Ma wants to enroll, so hopefully... it'll pull through. Plus, they give out information about the courses and stuff... basta... ang galing kasi mag sales talk nung guy... haha.

yun lang. Magkaaway kami ni Bevs eh. haha. boo =(

PROM on March 3! Coolios.


ang cute ni nathan jan. haha.

I feel unwanted.

Did you ever feel that feeling that no one wants you? That no matter how hard you try, and no matter how long you've been around those people, they still make you feel like you don't belong with them? Like they don't want you to be around them?

Lately, I've been feeling that way. I really don't feel like I belong here. I don't really feel like being around those people anymore. It's like... they make me feel so dry... and the sad part is they don't even know. They see me as this happy-go-lucky person who doesn't care about anything... who is just there to make them laugh and serve as company. I'm so sick and tired of being that kind of person. I'm so sick and tired of pretending I'm fine when I'm not. I want to serve a purpose. I want them to feel like they need me. You know what I mean? Like, with my so-called "friends", I hardly open up to them. They don't know half of what's happening in my life.

It's so hard. Especially around those people that you thought you knew. I know I've changed. I know. I've been too comfortable around them that sometimes, what I think is right is conceived as wrong. I've been trying to change what they didn't like about me. I try to think before I speak. Before I say something, I stop and think, "Is this the right thing to say? Will it hurt her/his feelings?" I've been trying so hard. But still, I feel like I don't belong. I keep on thinking, with the little amount of people I can trust, and can call as "best Friends", who am I really "friends" with? I mean, I'm friends with all of them, yeah, but who can I consider as that person who knows me inside out?

NO ONE.

If they do really know me, they'll know not to take me seriously. I'm the kind of person that takes everything as a joke, and just sit back and relax. I do not like worrying. I hate plastics. I hate some people. I hate what's happening right now. Everything's going downhill for me, but do I show it? No. Do they know about it? No. Did I even think about telling them? No. Why would I bother? No one would listen anyway. They don't care. It's so hard to find that one true friend that would be there. Everybody just calls and considers themselves friends, but they don't really deserve to be called that. They're just there. Friends are people who makes you feel better, not worse. Friends are the people that motivate you, not make you feel worthless. Friends are the people who cries with you just because, not the ones who laugh at you when you're miserable. Friends are the people who does everything with you, yung hindi ka iiwan sa ere. a friend is someone who doesn't blame you for anything, but takes the blame instead. A friend is someone who doesn't keep anything from you, and make you feel wanted, loved and appreciated. Am I expecting too much?

So don't ask me why I sometimes choose to stay home than chill with you guys. Don't ask me why I don't open up. Don't ask me why I just suddenly get pissed. But I want you guys to know that You guys are important to me.










Am I important to you?

I am getting so addicted to WarCraft it's not even funny.

LOL. See? I'm not asleep yet. Look at the time. I just finished playing that damn game. And I feel like I haven't had enough of it. If it wasn't for school, I wouldn't stop.

Grabe Pao. Why did you teach me how to play that game?

Hmmmm. I didn't go to school today eh. Too lazy. And we had to do stuff for church. RAWR. Sabi na eh. Everytime I skip school, the important stuff happens on that same day. GAH. Kainis talaga. Why can't I pick the right day to skip? Hmpth. Fuck, I missed so much important stuff. Haha. And I wanted to see Bisugz just to piss her off. LOL. AHLAVET.

Damn. I'm the MC for the stupid variety show for Feb. 17? Yeah I don't know the exact date, but whatever. I don't wanna be MC thooo. I wanna be in the damn show. I wanna danccee innit!!! Dammit... stupid Mrs. Flores. Well, if I Like You pulls through, forget I even said I wanted to dance in it. EW. Who would wanna dance that shit? Grabe ha, if she wants she could dance that by herself. Jeez. Puro pacute and crap. Eww.

I feel like Tosh is mad at me or something. Or we just drifted apart. I don't know. We're not as close as before. Basta... our friendship feels weird now. It's this damn cheering's fault. Shit.

I just hope everything comes back to normal. And soon.

Fuck. I have to wake up at 5. So how many hours am I gonna sleep today?