0218 // lecheng pag-ibig to.

MIGHT AS WELL KILL ME NOW. WHY oh fucking WHY? Now I feel like shit for saying those things in the past. I FEEL LIKE REAL SHIT FOR RETALIATING LIKE THAT WHEN I DON'T EVEN KNOW THE FRICKEN MAJOR DETAILS. WHY?

SHIT. Nagmukha lang akong TANGA. I was expecting SO FUCKING MUCH. I got mad at people because of it, yet I was FRICKEN WRONG the whole FRICKEN TIME. I WANTED TO LET IT ALL OUT, but somehow, the tears won't escape from my eyes. It's like, they want me to be strong. I admit, it REALLY REALLY hurt. like. HELL. But what can I do? NOTHING. I should just let everything fall into place. I should just let God do what's best. I guess after praying long and hard about us, he answered my prayer. And the answer was NO.

O JUICE KO ANO BA NAMAN ITO
DIBA, TANGINA, NAGMUKHA AKONG TANGA
PINAASA NIYA LANG AKO
LECHENG PAG-IBIG TO.

0217 // can't you tell & see, what you're doing to me?

Ilang gabi ng lumuluha, nagsisisi
I've already cried. Normally, if I shed tears for someone, it probably means that I already "love" him. But I don't know. I'm not sure about this one.

Laging lumalapit, umaasang magbabalik
I know ako na yung gumagawa ng effort para lumapit. I don't even know if you notice.

Habang naglalakad, lumilipad ang aking isip
When will you take me seriously? Do you think I'm always joking? Okay, maybe I am. But not this time.

Sa aking panaginip, umaabot hanggang langit
Sa panaginip na nga lang ba?

Ngunit pag ika'y lalapit para bang masasaktan
Honestly, nasasaktan talaga ako. You wouldn't open up no matter how hard I ask you to.

Ayaw mapahiya ngunit di makaiwas
I tried. I really did. Pero hindi kita matiis.

At pag nandyan nakaharap ay biglang mawawala ang gustong sabihin
I'm scared kasi na if I tell you, baka layuan mo ko. Baki maging weird ka around me. Baka hindi mo na ko kausapin. I don't want that to happen.

Unti unting nagiging lihim
Siguro nga I should just keep it to myself...

Kasabay ng luha ko
I don't want to cry anymore.

Gusto ng lumayo sa kanyang mundo
I REALLY REALLY DO. But I can't help myself. You have this certain thing in you that makes me want to come back for more. I just can't abandon you. No matter how hard I try to walk away, I always find myself longingly looking back.

Kahit anong gawin may pumipigil na damdamin
Pinipigilan ko lang na ibuhos talaga yung nararamdaman ko sayo kasi nga, ayaw kitang mawala.

Di na dapat pang ilihim aking tunay na damdamin
Marami nang nagsasabi. Pero hindi ko talaga kaya.

Takot sana ay tinabi kahit na masasaktan nalang
Hindi ko naman pwedeng itabi yung takot ko eh. One mistake and you'll be gone from my life just like that. Kaya ko bang irisk yun?

Ngunit pag ika'y lalapit para bang masasaktan
Ayaw na marinig na ako'y iyong iiwan
AYOKO TALAGA. Kaya nga ako natatakot eh.

At kapag nandyan nakaharap ay biglang mawawala
Ang gustong sabihin
Unti unting nagiging lihim
Kasabay ng luha ko sa kanya

Ugh. =\

*

Ayoko na nga. Nagsenti nanaman ako. Natatakot ako sa kung anong pwedeng mangyari. Ikaw kasi eh. Bakit ka ba ganyan ngayon? Ano ba ginawa ko sayo? Yun ba? Yung sinabi ko? Ok, I'm sorry. Kaya ayokong gawin yun eh. Hay. May magagawa pa ba ko? Sana iba yung reason mo kung bakit ka nagkakaganyan ngayon. Sana lang talaga.

FRIG PAREHKOI BAKIT KA PA NAGPARAMDAM?! Matino na mundo ko! TIGILAN MO NA KO! AGGHHHH.

0216 // from the hidden files of mr y.m. #2

X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:07:53 PM): btet k nga mlungkot???
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:08:03 PM): daming bagay
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:08:09 PM): piled up na
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:08:11 PM): naiipon
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:08:15 PM): di nababawasan
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:08:22 PM): d2 mluwag p aq.,.,.,
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:08:30 PM): pwde png 2mngap ng stock

Hahaha. :)

X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:14:12 PM): noh b prob mu???
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:14:26 PM): nalulungkot lang ako
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:16:22 PM): btet nga???
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:16:39 PM): kasi si martian mukhang tanga eh
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:16:46 PM): an insensitive taena manhid
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:17:36 PM): btet????
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:17:41 PM): bugbugin n???

HAHAHA. Mga hirit eh no?

mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:19:59 PM): ndeh ko kaya binawi
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:20:18 PM): tpoz???
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:20:35 PM): mlay mu nsa icp nya kaw an insensitiv.,.,.,
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:21:09 PM): baket
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:21:28 PM): sa tingin mo ba natutuwa ako sa kanya
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:21:42 PM): ewan q b sanyo.,.,.,
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:22:01 PM): gni2 lng yan ehhh.,.,.,
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:22:14 PM): anggang preho kaung nanga2pa ndi mgi2ng maaus yan ehhhh
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:22:34 PM): eh auko kc mgng upfront
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:22:46 PM): mamaya xe wala akong mapala
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:23:35 PM): SA BAGAY tma k!!!!!
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:23:42 PM): san k ms msa2ktan????
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:23:57 PM): s biglaan o s ndi mu alm kung san patungo???
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:25:30 PM): sa biglaan
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:25:43 PM): nadesisyonan mu n ha.,.,.,
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:25:50 PM): sbi mu yan.,..,
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:25:57 PM): an perseption q xe.,.,.,
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:25:58 PM): kasi maya pabigla2 ako bigla din siya mawala
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:27:41 PM): kpag biglaan isang aray lng yan ehhhh
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:27:51 PM): kpag wlang pu2ntahan.,..,,.,.,.,,
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:28:00 PM): onti onti lng yan.,.,.,
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:28:05 PM): pro sveral tymes.,.,,
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:28:13 PM): sanay na ko
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:28:16 PM): bka sbhin mu s srili mung kuya wag po!!!!!
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:28:58 PM): kaw n my sbe nyan!!!!!
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:29:14 PM): ayoko na kasi
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:29:19 PM): parang... hellow
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:29:23 PM): may feelings din ako
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:30:26 PM): kasi kaya... ang landi niya kasi!!
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:30:31 PM): desisyon mu ng mgpkaTANGANG 2lad q.,.,.,.,
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:30:38 PM): mgsmasma tau!!!!!
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:30:50 PM): pnonh mlandi???
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:31:17 PM): alam mo yung treatment niya sakin...
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:31:25 PM): parang... he makes me feel special talaga as in
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:31:35 PM): feeling mo inlove na siya sayo or something
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:31:37 PM): parang ganun?
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:32:14 PM): alm q ung feeling n gnyan.,.,.,
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:32:51 PM): tapos malalaman ko na lang ganun din pala treatment niya sa iba
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:32:56 PM): ganun lang pala talaga siya
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:33:05 PM): SAKIT DIBA
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:33:54 PM): ouch
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:34:01 PM): buti nga ikaw gnun lng ehhhh
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:34:15 PM): bakit
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:34:18 PM): ano ba yun xeu
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:34:43 PM): wla lng.,.,.,
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:34:50 PM): ndeh pero ALAM mo na mas mataas yung level ng pagkaganon niya sayo
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:34:54 PM): kaw nmn intriga k!!!!
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:35:04 PM): kaya lang you can't help but think
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:35:06 PM): kpag pumsok k bukas kwen2 q sau.,.,.,
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:35:13 PM): alot of other people are falling for him cause of it
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:35:39 PM): ayan english na. ndi na maexpress sa tagalog. i must be really sad.
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:36:03 PM): sbagay
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:39:31 PM): hay glennnn
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:39:36 PM): ano ba gagawin kooo
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:39:47 PM): sabi ni kathryn dumistance na daw ako before i fall harder
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:39:49 PM): pero ayoko
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:39:51 PM): hayyyy
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:40:02 PM): puntah k ng kanto.,.,.,
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:40:05 PM): sanay na kong anjan xa palagi
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:40:12 PM): tpoz katok k s tindahan!!!!!!
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:40:27 PM): sbhin pbili gin kwatro kantos.,.,..,
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:40:38 PM): wak mung inumin ha!!!!!hampas mu lng s ulo mu.,.,.,.,
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:40:47 PM): haha
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:40:48 PM): gago
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:41:24 PM): tnungin mu n xa!!!!!
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:41:30 PM): anong tanong
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:41:55 PM): bout wat he feels.,.,.,
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:42:25 PM): ayoko
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:42:30 PM): ayokong magassume na meron kahit wala
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:43:06 PM): gni2 lng banat jan ehhhh
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:43:11 PM): alm mu martian.,.,.,
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:43:21 PM): my problema aq ngaun ehhhhh.,..,.,
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:43:30 PM): i tynk n dhil s mga banat mu.,.,.,.
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:43:39 PM): i fall!!!!!!
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:43:58 PM): ndi q nmn cnsdya pro ndi q kya xe kaw ung taong mdling mhlin.,.,.,.
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:44:20 PM): kung mga2lit k okie lng pro ndi q mpa2ngako saung msa2ktan aq.,.,.,
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:44:44 PM): but still sna ndi mcra an ncmulan nting frendship ha.,.,.,.,
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:45:05 PM): alm q n ndi mgnda s gurl n nauuna.,.,.,
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:45:12 PM): pro ndi q n kya ehhhh.,.,.,.,.,
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:45:18 PM): GANYANG BANAT LNG!!!!!!
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:45:31 PM): xe bro.,.,.,.,
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:45:41 PM): nsa2ktan aq s away ntin ehhh
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:45:46 PM): prang wla lng aq sau.,.,,.,
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:46:06 PM): GAGO
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:46:09 PM): hahaha
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:46:28 PM): y dont u try????
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:46:59 PM): nagsimula kay bro
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:47:03 PM): bakit natapos kay martian
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:47:08 PM): ay baliktad pala
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:47:31 PM): nyahahahaha
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:47:39 PM): hindi ko kaya glennn
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:47:40 PM): aus n b kau???
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:47:43 PM): hindi ko talaga kaya
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:47:46 PM): bukas!!!!
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:47:49 PM): aq mgte2xt
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:47:51 PM): ayoko siyang mawala
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:48:08 PM): gni2 lng pliwang jan ehhhh.,.,.,.,
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:48:28 PM): mxado xang mkitid kpag iniwan k nya ng dhil lng dun.,.,.,.
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:48:36 PM): f he doesnt luv u.,.,.,.
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:49:15 PM): cguro la2mig ng onti.,.,.,mgka2ilangan.,.,.,ndi mgpa2ncnan kpag my klase.,.,.,ndi mu muna xa mta2wag n bro pansamantagal.,.,.
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:49:17 PM): kasi honestly, pag nagtapat na ko, AKO yung magiging weird sa kanya
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:49:45 PM): gago.
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:49:59 PM): bakit ba ano ba yung kay bro, what's the deal.
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:50:26 PM): si martian pinaguusapan natin hinahaluan mo ng bro
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:51:33 PM): ngkmali lng ng type
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:51:36 PM): WEH
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:51:37 PM): martian un
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:51:51 PM): anlayo aman ata ng keypad ng BRO sa MARTIAN
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:51:54 PM): pro seryoso la2mig yan pansamantagla
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:52:42 PM): kung ndi k nya mhl.,..,.,
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:52:52 PM): heller bakit mahal
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:52:53 PM): wala pa
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:52:56 PM): MAH pa lang
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:53:02 PM): MAH wala pang AL
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:53:08 PM): pro f he luvs u dn.,.,.,.,.,
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:53:15 PM): patay tau jan!!!!!

HAHAHAHA!!!

mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:53:39 PM): anlabo mo glenn
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:53:42 PM): kotongan kita eh
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:54:07 PM): alm mu xe ndi q kyang nsa2ktan k!!!!
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:54:46 PM): kya ms mbuting msktan k n ng malufet kesa nmn lgi k nlng umiiyak!!!!!
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:54:58 PM): kpag lumayo xa sau!!!!!
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:55:03 PM): nand2 lng aq!!!!
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:55:06 PM): haha
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:55:07 PM): thanks
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:55:13 PM): sa pasko ko na lang sasabihin
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:55:15 PM): joke
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:55:17 PM): ewan ko.
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:55:29 PM): pagka nagkaroon ulet ng instance na nagsimula sa joke joke.
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:56:50 PM): jan ngka2roon ng problema ehhhh.,.,.,
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:57:00 PM): kpag lhat dinadaan s biro.,.,.,
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:57:12 PM): ndi n alm kung kelan 22o o kelan lokoloko
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:57:19 PM): eh kilala mo naman ako diba
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:57:34 PM): uu kaw c ballesteros
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:57:55 PM): ung vice ng tanga otoroty of the philipiness
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 7:58:10 PM): oo kaw presidente
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 7:58:20 PM): xempre!!!!

TANGA OTORITY OF THE PHILIPPINES. wow.

mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 8:00:58 PM): ano ba yan ang haba haba ng tinype ko yan lang comment mo
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 8:01:07 PM): hehe
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 8:01:19 PM): kpag aq ngcomment bka mglit k n nmn kin ehhhh
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 8:01:26 PM): BAKET
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 8:01:33 PM): wla lng.,.,.,.,
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 8:01:38 PM): sbhin q sna.,.,.,
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 8:01:54 PM): buti p ung 1 dindla s mbuti!!!!ikaw kakulitan lng.,.,.,.,
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 8:01:56 PM): nyahahhahaha
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 8:02:01 PM): haha gago

haynako haynako. hahaha. kakulitan lang ba yun?!

X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 8:07:23 PM): kea nga bukas almin q.,.,.,
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 8:07:23 PM): "ALAM MO SINABI NI MARTIAN KAY B?"
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 8:07:26 PM): YUN LANG???
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 8:07:30 PM): un lng
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 8:07:48 PM): PUNYEMAX KA GLENN AATAKIHIN NA KO DITO TAS YUN LANG???
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 8:07:56 PM): PUTCHA
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 8:07:58 PM): ALAMIN MO
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 8:08:04 PM): aatakihin k n???
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 8:08:12 PM): bastah ilagan mu ung aatake sau ha
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 8:08:23 PM): xempre mlkas k skin ehhh

at nakuha pang mamilosopo.

mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 8:37:51 PM): rush ka kaagad eh
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 8:37:55 PM): kaya ka nasasaktan
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 8:38:02 PM): nyahahaha
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 8:38:03 PM): di ka pa sure sa feelings mo gusto mo go go go agad
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 8:38:06 PM): manhid aq!!!!
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 8:38:14 PM): ndi nsa2ktan!!!!
mareee ballesteros (10/26/2006 8:38:14 PM): ayan, nasermonan pa tuloi kita
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 8:38:19 PM): jowk,..,.,.,
X aXiS Ravino (10/26/2006 8:38:37 PM): sumbong kta s mama q!!!!!away mu aq!!!!mimaw!!!!

Hay, as you can notice this whole conversation has been edited. I took some parts out cause of their severe confidentiality. Haha. As much as I want to put the whole conversation, I CAN'T. And I won't. Who knows, martian might stumble in here and then I'm dead meat. Hahaha.

Labyu talaga Glenn! Thanks soooo soo much. :)

0215 // take my hand.

The way I felt when I, once again, after such a long time, stepped on the stage and sang P&W songs was so extraordinary that I can't even describe it. It's like, the moment they started playing the intro of the first song, I felt a certain kind of rush. I felt like I'm finally back on track.

And it's nice to catch up with people ;).

*Sigh*. On the other hand, things has gotten more complicated. I unno. I don't think he's being weird around me... but... there's definitely something wrong. He's not his usual self lately... and I'm thinking it's because of my recent... uhm... "girlfriend-ish" attitude towards him. I don't even know why I'm acting like this! UGH. Like, we've already fought twice today. And that's a record. Usually, we only fight twice a WEEK. But twice a DAY? Haha.

I don't want to tell him about my feelings anymore. =\

0214 // gahd. how stupid.

I JUST FIGURED OUT HOW TO PUT A TITLE ON MY ENTRIES!!! OMG CONGRATULATE ME! LOL.

0213 // NEW LAY people!

SEMBREAK HAS STARTED! Woot woot. Haha. A whole week of lazing around on front of the computer, lying on the couch watching dvds while munching on some chips. Now that's the life.

LOL. Frig. We still haven't started practicing for Choric. And that's when... Oct. 14? ARGH. And Mom doesn't wanna give me money for the fieldtrip. Shiz. Now I have to pay for it on my own... or I can always just stay at home and sleep that day. LOL. But then again, I'll miss all the fun. GAAHHH. Money.

I SO want to post Glenn and I's conversation here. But I'm scared mallows might stumble upon it and like... know everything. Haha. Whatever.

I'm gonna go to church now. Praise and worship. Tartar.

0212 // now tell me what you want.

Check out the time. What am I doing up so late eh? Err... I meant early. LOL. Whatevs.

I have nothing to say about the exams. LOL. We do what we usually do but I think this time it's worse. HAHAHAHA. I was texting with Nathan and Justin cause they took the test in the Computer Lab. Answers galore!

I'm so fricken pissed off at RALPH NOEL MARTIN. He popped Hello Kitty's balloon head on my bag. ='( FRIGG. And I don't know where the hole is. Haha. Nakakatawa cause everybody gathered around just to see what happened. LOL. So stupid. Tapos pang-asar pa, they kept on saying (all at once may I add) AAAAWWWWW. Hahahahahaha.

Iba na talaga pag everybody's eyes are on you. Lahat napapansin, lahat nalalait, lahat nakikita. Oh well, iba na talaga pag sikat eh. Ginagawang issue lahat ng bagay.

Candy Fair tomorrow but what do I have? EXAMS. GRRRR. I wanna gooo! But then again I have no one to go with cause I'm pretty sure Kath and them wouldn't be allowed to go. Shiz. Too bad. =\

*

ARGH. You are sooo fricken cute. You never fail to make me smile. AAHHHHHH. GRABE NA ITO. This is what Kathryn was telling me eh. I better keep distance. Mahirap nga naman umasa sa wala. I remember what Aiko told me pa: "Eh pano kung friends lang talaga? Parang bumalik lang sayo yung situation niyo ni Pao, pero this time, ikaw yung umaasa, ikaw yung naghihintay." AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. AYOKO NA. Bakit pa kasi. BAKKKEETTT.

I was thinking I should tell him before it's too late. But then again, I'm afraid of the consequences. I NEVER EVER tell anyone I like that I like them. Cause I don't know how they would react. I don't want to lose the person. But... he seems like the kind that will take it okay. He's been through these kinds of situation before, right? He' s not crush ng bayan for nothing. HAHAHAHA. Crush ng bayan AMF.

Let's give it more time.

0211 // from the hidden files of mr y.m.

Jeremy Jauod: d kea.. clos n kc kmi nun ehhh
mar ballesteros: close close
mar ballesteros: ewan ko sayo
mar ballesteros: kaming mga close mo talaga ni hindi mo na pinapansin
Jeremy Jauod: pno my mga kxma n kea keu..
Jeremy Jauod: cna dex pti arnold
mar ballesteros: ano naman kinalaman nila dito
mar ballesteros: bakit, palibhasa kasama na namin sila di niyo na kami papansinin?
Jeremy Jauod: eh msaya n keu ksma cla ehh...
Jeremy Jauod: eh di hndi nyo n kmi kelangan
mar ballesteros: aysus nagdrama?
mar ballesteros: kayong lahat ganyan eh
mar ballesteros: wala nang MAKILING na pumapansin samin
Jeremy Jauod: my iba n nga kc keung fren
mar ballesteros: bakit
mar ballesteros: di ba close din naman kayo ni dex?
Jeremy Jauod: oo peo... bsta
mar ballesteros: basta ano?
Jeremy Jauod: e1 ko d ko mpliwanag
mar ballesteros: nagseselos lang kayo eh
Jeremy Jauod: hndi bsta
mar ballesteros: sabihin mo na kasi
mar ballesteros: kayo rin kaya, iba na trip niyo
Jeremy Jauod: ano amn 3p amin???
mar ballesteros: ewan ko.
mar ballesteros: basta. iba na kayo eh
Jeremy Jauod: d kme nagb2go
mar ballesteros: anong hindi
mar ballesteros: OO NAGBAGO NA KAYO
mar ballesteros: hindi niyo lang siguro napapansin
Jeremy Jauod: ndi kme nagbgo
mar ballesteros: kahit kanino niyo pa itanong

Gahd. And I thought the war of the sections is over. Is that even reasonable? Just because we're friends with other boys (particularly from ex-MAYON) now, they ignore us and ish. Like, they prefer to hang out with other people. Yeah, I admit, nagseselos kami. But it's unfair. We don't wanna lose BOTH friendships. This applies to the girls as well. Parang, the four of us doesn't belong anymore. We don't know of things that are happening. I'm hating it.

Anyway, our Research long test was soooo sabaw. Grabe dumugo ilong ko dun! Leche.

Ah. I forgot what I was gonna write. And I was itching to blog too. Frig.

0210 // don't it feel like sunshine after all?

I miss the way everything was. Why can't things just go back to how they were before and forget every. single. thing. I can't do this anymore. Hindi ko na kaya. People change, yeah. But why do they have to change so damn much?

I don't believe YOU are sorry talaga. You don't even CARE AT ALL. Natiis mo na hindi kita kinakausap for almost two weeks now? Frig, ano nga naman kwenta ko sayo diba? Wala naman talaga eh. And to think I trusted YOU more than someone I THINK I should've trusted more. Good luck na lang. Siguro, wala kang pakielam kung mawala yung FRIENDSHIP. It's ok. I know I've touched YOUR life. But so far, you haven't touched mine.

I'm still disappointed and a bit hurt that YOU haven't told me about it.

Siguro, hindi na ko galit SAYO. At least ikaw, may EFFORT. Eh yung iba dyan, wala talagaing pakielam.


SEMBREAK, HURRY UP.

0209 // sa isang ngiting walang saya.

KAI
maryzark

unti-unting gumagalaw
kanyang matang nakatanaw
sa isang ngiting walang saya
nagtatanong, nagtataka

bakit ba ganito?
natapos sa gulo

wala na rin bang halaga
ang yakap at halik niyang
dati'y hinahanap pa
ngayo'y tinataguan na

bakit ba ganito?
tinapos sa gulo

mahalin mo na lang kahit kunwari
dalangin niyang nakatingin sa langit
naubos na ang sandali
ng buhay niyang kasing-gulo ng

isang pelikulang wala namang istorya
natapos na ikaw na lang ang bida
di man lang nasabi na
mahal na mahal mo siya

ang hawak mo'y kasing lamig
ng huling halik sa kanyang bibig
bakit ka umiwas sa
huling tanong na meron sya
bakit kaya ganito
naiinis sa bawat kwento
daig niyo pa ang tv ko

naubos na ang luha niya
pikit na din ang mga matang
kanina'y nakatitig pa
sa larawan mo na yakap niya

Ah. How sad. ♥ that song. LOL. Nakakarelate? XDD

0208 // quick update.

Cause Faye wants an update. :)

I haven't updated this for exactly a month now, eh? Too lazy. Too busy. Hehe. I didn't go to school today to do my project in TLE and English. But yeah, I'm procrastinating. Shiz. Java Programming sucks to the fricken core. You do not understand.

Hmmmnnn. Cheering. We lost. Go figure. We were sabotaged. I'll leave it at that. It's up to you to do some research. Haha. I'll give you a clue: eljay. That's if you have eljay and you're my friend. But if not, then too bad. I'm too lazy to tell the whole story right now. LOL :)

Volleyball. We lost as well. We could've won if there wasn't much errors. Shiz. We lost by 8 points. Hahahaha. DAH WELL. It's all good. The SENIORS are still OVER-ALL CHAMPS. Goodie.

Anyway. I miss the cheering practices. RAWR. Oh well. Practices for Choric is coming up. This time, we should win. GAHHH.

Exam next week. Then sem break. Then field trip. WOOOOOOT. Can't wait.

Ahhhhh. He is so fucking cute. LOL.

Photos. Click to view. Check out my multiply for more.


sulong SENIORS, wag uurong!

mar. kath.

SENIORS.

aiko. mar. zaih.